Sunday, July 12, 2009

4.36 a.m.-Some silly thoughts..

The first week ended with lots of thought running through my head. The challenge that I faced everyday seemed to fade me away as time goes by. I am sprinting as fast as I could to catch up with the rest, but the further I ran, I find that I am losing myself. I cannot see my old self in the mirror. What is duplicated on it is just a forlorn figure.. begging for more hours in a day, hoping that things will be better, hoping that the optimistic thoughts will glow brighter.

I used to go through the same course of life that I am facing now. Back then, I would just burst my anger and frustrations without giving much thought. I was so childish that I thought by venting out the anger on others, I would feel better. I did not even look at the root of the problem. All I got in return was a temporary relieve and two broken hearts. Have I not weigh the pros and cons before getting into an argument? How can I allow my heart to react faster than my mind? These are the silly things that I would still reminisce with a light smile - a smile that reminds me of how absurd my actions were. Yes, we learn through mistakes and these mistakes eventually taught us to become better in future. It is indeed too late to realize it as damage has been done. No rectification could be made.

In the same time, I think that whenever things go wrong and damage has been done, we should always remind ourselves of the consequences of beginning a "war" when there is no definite winner or loser. Winning a conflict involving partners does not bring joy and glory to the relationship. Instead, visible and invisible cracks would be formed, the latter bearing greater impact. I may not speak as a "relationship guru", but these are my experiences that I feel I should share with people around me.

I remembered passing a newspaper article to a friend of mine-"To Love and Cherish". The content of the article soothe the emotions of the rowdy and brings comfort for those who have doubts in their relationships. My first impression of this article is that it connects people's thought, transforming words into action. I agree that even though it may not be something easily practised, it is worth trying.

Anyways, maybe what I've wrote in this blog will make me look like a dimwit. No doubt, I care a lot for my friends without expecting anything in return. Though it hurt a little to see how things work, I guess this is reality. Regardless of this, love yourself more because without it, there is nothing called love.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your thoughts as mentioned in this post showed that you are a person who shower all you have for the people you care. The first paragraph, however, made me feel as if you are lost somewhere. Take time off and set your tracks again. You are much more capable than you think. Again, do not shy yourself away from others. Talk your feelings and let them know how you actually felt about things that is happening. You will do well.