Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Reminiscence..

Years passed..

Every moment goes on without you..

Your smile.. Your gentle caresses..

The way you made me feel..

The way I fall every single second our eyes met...

...................





I miss you.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Hilarious!

Some feels that by condemning others, they will feel better. Some on the other hand realized the fact that others felt challenged when those belittling words were constructively arranged. Somehow, I find it tickled me as I am faced with this situation. I laughed at the actors who tried to give their best shot (in their persuasive manner) to change or influence others to think and behave like them. In other words, to get someone to do something they intended the person to do. Hilarious, is the word that I would best describe them because they do not realize that their plans actually work the other way round even though it looked as if it worked perfectly well.

The question that we should ponder is whether they actually realize the fact that we are actors as well. Or maybe by showing that we were really dumb, they felt that the victory is theirs? Ironically, how a person acts and reacts are two completely different dimension though both elements will interlock one another. To assess a particular subject, shouldn't we actually look at the root of the problem rather than looking at the symptoms of these problems?

My significant learning? Think before you speak.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

4.36 a.m.-Some silly thoughts..

The first week ended with lots of thought running through my head. The challenge that I faced everyday seemed to fade me away as time goes by. I am sprinting as fast as I could to catch up with the rest, but the further I ran, I find that I am losing myself. I cannot see my old self in the mirror. What is duplicated on it is just a forlorn figure.. begging for more hours in a day, hoping that things will be better, hoping that the optimistic thoughts will glow brighter.

I used to go through the same course of life that I am facing now. Back then, I would just burst my anger and frustrations without giving much thought. I was so childish that I thought by venting out the anger on others, I would feel better. I did not even look at the root of the problem. All I got in return was a temporary relieve and two broken hearts. Have I not weigh the pros and cons before getting into an argument? How can I allow my heart to react faster than my mind? These are the silly things that I would still reminisce with a light smile - a smile that reminds me of how absurd my actions were. Yes, we learn through mistakes and these mistakes eventually taught us to become better in future. It is indeed too late to realize it as damage has been done. No rectification could be made.

In the same time, I think that whenever things go wrong and damage has been done, we should always remind ourselves of the consequences of beginning a "war" when there is no definite winner or loser. Winning a conflict involving partners does not bring joy and glory to the relationship. Instead, visible and invisible cracks would be formed, the latter bearing greater impact. I may not speak as a "relationship guru", but these are my experiences that I feel I should share with people around me.

I remembered passing a newspaper article to a friend of mine-"To Love and Cherish". The content of the article soothe the emotions of the rowdy and brings comfort for those who have doubts in their relationships. My first impression of this article is that it connects people's thought, transforming words into action. I agree that even though it may not be something easily practised, it is worth trying.

Anyways, maybe what I've wrote in this blog will make me look like a dimwit. No doubt, I care a lot for my friends without expecting anything in return. Though it hurt a little to see how things work, I guess this is reality. Regardless of this, love yourself more because without it, there is nothing called love.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Climb

"I am feeling the words in this song"....



The Climb-Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going

And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause
There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about

It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

Whoa a oh oh



*Waiting for the day when all that I've ever dreamed comes true*.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Back to school

It's 11.55 p.m. at the moment. Just got up almost an hour ago. Tired. Exhausted. Took a light dinner and here I am, facing the laptop screen with my fingers tapping on the keyboard. I felt a sense of fatigue in me. I wonder how long I can take the immense pressure. Though today was the first day of classes, I've already felt the strong presence of this very subjective term, stress. In addition, work has not been easy either. The jittery "vigil-ed" in me though I have tried to keep calm and remorse. The positive side of it, I am glad that I didn't flare my temper at work.

Realizing that I was going to be late for my class, I suggested to that particular person that I will simplify the documents without leaving out any data. But I was taken aback when I was asked to re-do the document as she needs to present it out. Looking at my watch, I knew that I will definitely be late on the first day. Anyways, I re-do it according to the specifications given and leave the office as soon as I can. Sped all the way home, grab whatever that is on the dining table and drove over for classes.

By the time I reached the entrance, I was already late. Found my way to the faculty and without any hesitation, entered the hall for the first lecture. I was 15 minutes late and luckily the professor was not annoyed by my entrance. Took a back seat and observed around. It has been almost 7 months since I left UTAR, and right now, I am back to studying again. I found myself amazed by the number of adult learners. Yes, it is never too late to step into higher education. My course mates, most of them are working adults with GLCs give me a sense of adulthood in a way. I don't deny the fact that I reached adulthood years ago, but the fact that you'll be studying in a different environment with different kinds of mindset enhances my curiosity. I really can't wait to see and understand how these new faces would share their knowledge and experiences with me.

Anyhow, classes ended earlier today. First days were mostly orientation and get-to-know sessions. Went home after it finished. Took my shower, online for a while..and I am off to my bed. I am tired.

But still, I wonder what lies ahead of me tomorrow. Another adventure to pursue. I just can't wait.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Thoughts.

Had a restful nap this evening. Came home from work roughly about 3.15 in the afternoon. Had a light lunch, watched Silence of the Lambs and a little of CJ7. Yeah, I'm being a potato couch once in a while :)

Anyways, working life has indeed taught me many precious lessons. Things that you will not get it elsewhere, but through experiences and hardships. I don't deny that at times, things can be so sickening till it suffocates you. But once you're through that bumpy ride, you'll realize what is left on your finger tips. Though it has only been 4 months of work, I just felt as though it has been a very long time. Work has been stressful enough this time around. Implementation of new systems, follow-ups.. and worst, classes will start this coming Monday.

Well, the time table has not been an advantage to me. Classes starts in the evening and ends at night. Just imagine, having to work from 8.30 to 5, and then rush for classes. Sighs. I really don't know how I'm going to get through this, but like what a friend has told me.. "Nothing comes easy". I truly understand what her meaning was. At times, when people from all walks of life come and tell u things that will pull you down and belittle your faith, I find that rather than taking their words in a negative way, why not pivot it into something more positive? Yes, saying is easy but doing it is a completely different task. But, how would you know if you haven't try?

I know that it will be difficult to balance so many things in one time. I have to give my best shot. Because if I don't, I'll never know how far I can go.

And as for those that keeps on belittling, their words somewhat had inspired me in a very different way.