Doom

Another day passed without any assignments got worked out. Feeling blue, reflecting on what has been done. Disgusted, I cannot picture what have I caused. Where else can I pour out on how I felt about the entire episode? It is the first time that I behaved in this manner and the reaction I got has been truly upsetting. Sighs.

I know I just cannot turn back time or pretend like it was something that I would be proud of. It was an embarrassment in my books. Or should I say it was an embarrassment in others' books as well. I hate to wake up each time after booze and feeling fucked up. But to feel fucked up and got fucked again would definitely be the no. 1 enemy. What else can I say to defend myself when it was obvious that I am the one to be blamed? No more words to describe this feeling in me. Numb to all these hustling and piercing words.

What has happened is already in the past. This episode would definitely be a reminder. I guess it would be hard for others to believe if I could turn to a new leaf and change my ways. To add, I knew I cannot blame them for having this point. All I could do now is just to concentrate on making the change. I just got to work harder.