Extremely tired after today's 5 + hours, back-to-back lectures. Submitted the assignment that I've worked on till about 4 in the morning. Manage to "wake up, sleep back & wake up" again at about 9 this morning. Not too bad, 5 hours of sleep. Reached office late, something that I hated most. I just don't know why I could not force myself to wake up earlier, and reach office on time. I wished I had more hours in a day, allowing me to sleep later and wake up earlier, and finish whatever tasks that has continue to pile up for quite some time. I do not deny that I am a slacker sometimes, but I have tried harder than usual to finish up the heavy workload at work and at varsity. Probably I am just a half-slacker? I really don't know how to characterize it.
Some people annotated that I am pushing myself too hard, causing that fatigue look that I am picturing to others. Some even said that I am staggeringly stressed up, something that I do admit. Sighs, this semester has really tested my diligence not just once, but uncountable times. I have been having monologues and questioning my own credibility. Others have continued to encumbrance my thoughts by their consistent positive remarks. It is not that I do not like to be appreciated, but the fact that when people expect more from time to time, it has somewhat become a cynical challenge that could lead to calamitous results. Maybe it will not reach the burn-out stage, but to think of the tasks that is ahead of me, the jittery feeling starts to seep in.
Somehow, I just know that I will do well ultimately. All I need is just some persistence and determination. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I know I can.
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