The past few weeks has never been smooth sailing. Tons and tons of problems arises even though it cannot be seen from the surface. It troubled me, made me feeling restless every now and then, even though I do not have any faults in those matter. Those petty matters causes conflict, internally, and deteriorate relationships. I was stuck in the middle all the time. I felt like a pawn, being moved here and there in a game of chess. It feels as though those players do not really care if they ever lose you in their battle of minds. I do not know if this prediction of mine is true, likewise, it is actually better not knowing the real thing.

I guess everything happens for a reason. We learn from every mistakes that we made or occur to us. Yes, some say those mistake makes us stronger. Yet, some may fall and never regain their throne at the end.

Anyways, I am going to start on a new path soon. There's nothing more to ask for besides having a sunny side up for a change :)

Weeks and weeks of slacking at home since my last final year paper. The waiting time for an interview dreads me to the maximum. However, those that call wasn't something I have in mind. Sad to say, I have actually turn down 4 interviews in the process. It was not an issue I am proud of, but I guess I really have to look into what I really want.

I thought I have finally secure a job the other day. Went for my first job and was hoping that things will turn up fine. I guess I was wrong. After a few hours of training, I left the company (better not mention which co... for precaution sake). Don't get me wrong, it was not because of laziness or the environment of the working place, but it was due to my integrity and "promises" made by the other party. Yea, left the place and the next thing I know was I nearly got sued for breaching the contract. Damn it. I didn't know what went on the next few hours but the person-in-charge didn't call back right after the last call. I guess it was off.

However, whenever I recall the waiting time for the return call, I could still feel the jittery feeling inside me. I am so glad that you actually called and comforted me in your own way. Though that kind of comfort was those hard-core ones, I know that was your style.. In a way, you have "screwed" some senses in me, making me realize things that I always thought I can manage. Those words that broke the silence between us that day made me see the hidden pictures that actually set those barriers. I never know that I had so much of weaknesses in me until you spilled up the beans. I have always look up to you, no matter which aspect it is. Your words (though not much), have a big impact in everything that is laid before me. Thanks, boss. You are the best!

Walking the talk is always the hard part to deal with. I guess the word she presented me the other night was truly what I needed. Thanks, Joan.